Truth of Life

Life often doesn't give you too many choices and
when it does give you choices....it takes away the right to choose.

Oft heard

When you hear something over and over again, either you learn it without understanding it's meaning(Rote learning) or you simply ignore it (noise) however some statements that we hear often just put a smile on your face.......yes a smile that means something yet nothing. A smile that aknowledges a lie and reminds of your own true self. A smile that tells you how far can your patience let this last. So here are those few smile evoking responses...excuses/advices/ just lame ideas..............

• I am so sorry , I have been a bad friend. But I have just been so busy you know. Life is just crazy right now.
• So what is wrong with you?
• See it's the same with everyone. Nobody is happy. Everyone doesn't know what to do in their future.
• Oh did you need to shower early? I totally forgot............
• Oh were you sleeping? Did I wake you up with my noise ?
• So do you miss home?
• You have no clue how hard it is to live alone.
• So what's the big deal? It is just $ 40.00
• Don't think so much .You think too much.
• So when are you graduating? What are your plans after graduation? Are there any job prospects?
• You should get married ! You should find someone !
• Arre you are like my buddy...........
• What? you haven't done that X thing yet? When are you going to finish it? I don't think you are ever going to finish it.
• So you are studying Cognitive Psychology? I don't understand a thing about that! So do you deal with mental patients and stuff ? I mean what is that called Schizophrenics....
• It's so cold here...it's like close to 50 degrees (fahrenheit of course)...typically people from Texas / California / Florida
• What are you doing for dinner tonight? Are you cooking something? Cook something! You never cook these days!
• Oh we are just going to hang out today....Have some beers and chill........What movie / play and all........forget it re..you all just come by my apartment and all of us can just relax.......
• Indian systems are really a mess. But nobody can do anything about it. I mean it's just useless to even try with such a huge population and so much poverty.......
• Hinduism is the best religion.
• God knows what all you write in your blog/ why you wrote that particular post. Where do you think of all that stuff from? You think too much!

TNETNOCSID

Potential of a blank canvas is so hard to fathom
Painting a perfect picture there on requires immeasurable skill
And When the picture is finally done someone's remark "it couldn't have been better !"

ACHIEVEMENT !

But the heart yearns for more as always..........................

celebrations...........

AND finally the first birthday

hopefully many more to come.........To the readers of goblin times.....A big big thank you...it's been awesome to have completed one year in this blogger world.....

The heart hardly has words to express this joy ..........

Two to tango or two to Waltz?

Does it take two people to maintain a harmonious relationship?
Is it so hard to maintain a balance when one is putting in more effort than the other. Is it fair or not is a different question altogether but what pertains is ....Is this strained relationship actually a relationship or is it a forceful communion of two people who do not have the same goals anymore or perhaps developed differences that they had not envisaged ever before.

So like things fall into place when both take equal measures to maintain equilibrium, similarly both are equally responsible for whatever ruins the equilibrium.

If one has been aggressive then probably the other was so non responsive that they wouldn't go on with the same waltzing life that they initially were so comfortable with.

Whatever the reason may be if one withdraws then may be the other should wait and watch. May be the other should not step forward or backward. For if that one move is made then judgements will be made of whether the forward was pursuit or the backward was withdrawal !!!

Thus hang on....patience is a virtue and so hard to come by. May be the best way to go about things is to wait and watch. Time will tell everything.. .Yes it will ................hopefully !

The King of hearts

Today as I did my usual routine in the cardio room at the University recreational center, the treadmill right next to me was getting squeakier by the minute and I was absolutely disgusted at the way the girl running on it wouldn't step down and run on another one.
Three minutes later a couple walked in. Well I am sure it was exactly three minutes since I was running and there when you are breathless, every minute is like eternity.
So the couple walked in side by side. Old , weary and tired. The man, an octogenerian; walked a couple of steps ahead. He was wearing a full sleeves shirt and his jacket drooped over his bent shoulders. Rugged shoes, laces barely tied and the woman probably in her late seventies or so. White well kept hair, Thick glasses, a flowery blue t-shirt and a beautiful smile on her face.
She was unsure where in the world they were or perhaps unwilling to come to this place.
Everyone in the room gave them a quick glance and stared back into void as if this much acknowledgement was fair enough.
The woman's smile had vanished and deliberation showed on her face. The man snorted, jittery joints yet calm as he was, he clasped the hand of the woman and squeezed it tightly. Eyes twinkled and they walked in further.The smile returned to her face.In just this small gesture he promised the world to be safe for his lady...........
Perhaps all this might not mean much to the world but when I observed the moment all I thought was kudos to this old man. Quite rightfully I can call him the King of hearts !!!!!
A priceless moment and a indefinable emotion.

Times of Sun en Shade

Time never seems to stand still and I wonder how it yet seems so constant.
Been a long time, precisely a year. Last year around this time something incredibly beautiful happened. I found an old friend of mine through www.orkut.com. Probably one of those social networks many people are addicted / aversive to but for me orkut was great. Got in touch with long lost friends.
It was purely coincidental that we happened to be in the same country and were able to talk.
Unexpected and absolutely different.
When you haven't met someone in a long long time it is sometimes just hard to converse. There are often more silences than words, but on the contrary with my friend it was so easy.It was like picking up the ropes from where we left off like about 9 years ago.......
We talked about anything and everything and yet nothing.
The picture I have up here is of a natural bridge. Time and erosion have caused the rock to wear away but at the same time the bond remains. The bridge is formed and it serves a purpose unknown.
Times of sadness and times of pure bliss,
Moments with humor and moods when one of us is pissed...
But nevertheless a wonderful friendship I think we will treasure...
So here's to your my dear friend........and here's to many more good times to come!


I know my friend doesn't read this blog but surely all you people out there ,who are indeed reading this post....... reach out to your old friends sometimes what seems to have been lost over time could be gained by just a moment or two.
Keep the faith!

A hand shake alright! A hug -- Taboo ??

Often times cultures clash and then you wonder why we behave the way we do. Some people stop and think if the practices they follow hold any rationale . Others do not.
According to me no practices ingrained in us (as children/ adults) by a culture are good or bad without a sound reasoning to them.

In the western world the personal space bubble is much smaller or rather narrower than in the eastern worlds.Yes population is one of the main reasons why in the eastern world people like to have more personal space. It other words they try to have more distance from others. Especially people of opposite sex. Sociological studies have indicated that in Japan and China people prefer to stop and talk based on a sound that they make when the pass by.

As a teenager I travelled to Europe and witnessed this much talked about public display of affection. Used to feel disgusted sometimes since I have been brought up in a very very traditional Indian cultural background. Girls are restricted with hundreds of dos and don'ts and guys have to stay within their limits (often the notions of limits is undefined). If you see a guy and a girl walking across the street hugging, walking hand in hand.....or anything more ....Be assured with in a week they would be getting engaged in the eyes of the public.

Who makes the society? Who creates norms ?.....We do.
So what stops us from reframing the norms or changing obselete ideals when they need to be changed?
Why do we measure love so much. We think, analyze and then act.
If we feel like hugging someone and if the person is of the opposite sex why is it such a big deal?
Why do tongues have to wag and thoughts have to race so much .That too of people unconcerned and unaffected ..................The gossipmongers

Yes and I do expect a lot of comments on this blog saying well it's not like that anymore in India most parts of the western world and so on, but believe me having travelled quite a bit and having lived in America for long enough I still sometimes get stuck in this rut of should I or should I not hug someone. And there are hundreds of people like me out there.

All I would say is follow your heart. You feel a friend needs a hug, go ahead . Give the friend a big big hug...........Nothing is more important than being honest to yourself and being true to your emotions. Least important are the chains of a society that burden you with unwanted rituals and traditions which more or less have become hurdles in human expression of emotions.

So go on .................... Live , Love , Follow your heart!

this is unbelievably insane!

It's really insane to click on OK and get this as my fortune for the day on an astrological prediction website; especially insane since i get this prediction right after my post yesterday titled 'wild child' ---------------------

" Talk in riddles and say your sentences backward. Be fanciful and outlandish. Most of the information will be relayed in a non-verbal manner. Let your wild side shine through. Wear the wackiest thing in your closet. Don't give in to the social norm just because it's the thing that has been done time and time again."

Do astrological predictions have a grain of truth in them? Time and again this particular website doesn't fail to surprise me.....Sometimes things have happened and I have checked the website and realized that indeed that was the fortune for the day!!!! eeriieeee but true!

Whether stars determine or actions or not is a question no one can answer ....We can probably argue endlessly but i think I like this mystery and when someone can give probabilistic calculations of how the mystery can unravel....I think it is cool!!!!!

WILD CHILD

I want to run on roads without fear of being run over

Steal some breeze , walk away with praise

Climb trees unafraid, pluck flowers for all I please

Hiding somewhere deep within is indeed a wild child in me!

Want to say goodbye without tears in my eyes,

Talk brazenly about how bad the food you cooked was

Look straight at you and tell you how mean you are

Hiding somewhere deep within is indeed a wild child in me!

Lucky is the bird that needs no permits to fly around

Roam around the world like my own playground

Want to eat all the chocolate I want without the world giving me cold stares

Hiding somewhere deep within is indeed a wild child in me!

One day, just one day I want to live my life on just my terms

Unabashed, uninhibited but in a sea of anonymity that never discerns

Do not care what and who says how I should be.

Just want to free the wild child hiding within me.

Lake of Love

In the lake of love they waddle away

swimming in the waters they turn their backs and each other dare

white as snow the black necked swans,

red beaked and teary eyes that match the darks.

One of them turns and looks away from the other

solemn and sad wondering whether

The other quickly grasps a small piece of weed in beak

picks it up; takes it to his sweetheart to seek

the love and care that has been hidden in those eyes, all of a sudden comes like a surprise

bewildered yet happy the swan swims in glory

she takes the weed and falters around hunky - dory

the weed in that beak is almost like solace, hard to find and yet commonplace

Beautifully they waltz yet again, teasing and turning in waters green

jolly good times they have spent in this lake of love pristine!

IRKSOME

To see someone not smile anymore takes you a while
Out of sight does not always work!
To see you missed a train hurts a hell lot
When you want something badly, the wholeuniverse conspires you to get it... is false!
To eat lunch and get an impromptu lunch invite that has to be refused
There are indeed no free lunches in this world!
To love somebody and not be loved back
Sad but true there ain't no true love in this world baby!
To learn a new word and forget the meaning
A fool and folly are seldom apart!
Buying new clothes every month is a wonderful feeling
Innovation sometimes ruins your bank balance!

Try some!

I am an ardent lover of food.......And here's a list of some favorites probably worth a try if you would like to................Buy it. cook it or ask someone to invite you for it............ They are just delicious..........

• Entenmann's fudge brownie bites
• Peppridge farms (rasberry) Milano cookies
• Spinach and Artichoke Dip with Tostitos (hint of lime flavor)
• Watermelon juice with a little lemon
• Orange, Kiwis and Mint juice with crushed ice
• Eggplant Parmesan Sandwich at TGIF (TGI Fridays)
• Mango rum with gingerale (I do not recommend this for alcoholics)
• A fresh Iceberg lettuce salad with carrots and tomatoes and Catalina (italian) dressing
• Haagen Dazs Mint chip Icecream
• Pad Thai (veggie + tofu) in a decent Thai restaurant

Well try some of these and let me know if they were good.......................

by the way none of the companies pay me anything for promotions.......... so if you are one of the companies and I am recommending you then please think about some goodwill.....I am always open to gifts....and free dinners .............

Role playing

Dearest Mr.Macho
It's such a pleasure writing to you. I have always admired your muscular thoughts and your stonelike emotions. How are you capable of always being so focused and not letting any kind of happiness or sadness get in your way of living?
I always wonder what would life be if each of us could live like you do and act like you do.
Would being ambitious and running after achievement be the answer to everybody else's problems. Those meek ones who cry and feel and think and in front of God kneel?
Little have I seen any courage and pride in anyone else other than you. Oh hail ye almighty, I praise thee today for your aloofness, your supreme introvertness and your ability to stay away from all that is human and talkative.
It is so vain and yet so adorable to see you strut through the hurdles of life, kicking away all relations and freeing yourself from the chains of dependents. Must be taking a toll on your time allocated for personal grooming.
Do you always strive so hard to follow the cult of 'cool'dom? Or do you ever stir away and think of getting distracted by worldly pleasures of simplicity and boredom?
I have always been in awe of your pompusness and grandeur. Has never been anyone and shall never be like you. Unique, Self focused and wonderfully talented that you are do you ever think this life would be any different had you not taken a step or two towards selfishness and impression management?
I would also mention the fact that although it is a pity (for I feel they are sheer indicators of human emotional existence)you cannot cry (since society says men cannot cry), you cannot crib (because you like to flaunt how much of motivation you have) I do think you are absolutely invincible when it comes to attaining what we mortals call undaunted impressions on the human mind. I have and many more to come will remember you in their minds for it's so hard to let go of memories of personas like you.
May there be a million more out there just like you, Robotic, determined and emotionless!
Amen!
Sobbingly yours (tears of joy ofcourse)
The Goblin.

Unanswered

I was tagged to complete this list by www.siddharthadelkar.blogspot.com and www.notjustjazz.blogspot.com so I am completing the ordeal....
Actually enjoyed it quite a lot....

I am thinking about when?

I said what?

I want to love whom?

I wish to go where?

I hear silence how?
I wonder really wonder why?
I regret for a while but not all the while.
I am who? I am.
I dance with myself to your tunes....

I sing for myself to my tunes. ......
I cry? Why do I?

I am not always whom?

Do I need to be someone?

I make with my hands guilty of what?
I write plenty nothings which?

I confuse myself and how?
I need to in future lies what?

And finally I realized I have too many questions unanswered but I have a smile on my face because when you smile you look good :)

And now here's tagging a few I know to know some more.....

Victim of Desire

Yatzgad

Swatspace

Nikhil

I R O N I C

Lately I am listening to a lot of new songs and here's one that I just cannot stop listening to.......

It's By Alanis Morissette and is called Ironic

The words go like this................

It's like rain on your wedding day

It's a free ride when you've already paid

It's the good advice that you just didn't take

Who would've thought...it figures

This song says so much to me and still it makes me wonder what is it about these words that make me smile and cry at the same time............ Ironic don't you think ?

In Response to A Mac -Lover

A few days ago a fellow contributor of the blogger world wrote an interesting take on
Mac- o - mania.The title of his blog was Psychosexual attachment to Macintosh. Here is a link to his blog http://siddharthadelkar.blogspot.com/2006_09_06_archive.html
Well quite confidently I decided to write about what Freud's take on psychosexual attachment to Macintosh would be and within a day I was lost in confusion about what my response would be.

I have always thought I enjoyed Freud's theory and the psychoanalytic world gave psychology a lot of pathbreaking ideas. In the time and frame that Freud developed his theory, human psyche was chained, burdened by societal norms, dos' and donts', conflicts and above all uncertainity in life and what better a solution than sex or love?

Everything and anything that resulted in Neurosis was termed to be sexual in nature. Not only is this incorrect but often misinterpreted by a lot of people who read Freud's theory without probably reading the history of the place Freud was based.

Nevertheless coming back to what I decided to write this blog for.Freud's concepts of Id, Ego and Superego can definitely be integrated in the loves for a Mac.
Given we are always striving towards creating a balance between the three, Id is the one that needs to be neglected and overruled by the Superego at times.

Mac-lovers probably would use the delete key often enough to reset their thoughts which translates to Freud's idea of the defense mechanism of 'Repression'.
Or going without food and water, aimlessly sticking to the computer screen trying to code, draw or read and not being interested in the outside world could be signs of a Mac - 0 - neurotic. Treatment of course would consist of psychoanalysis which would examine the childhood experiences of isolation that lead to this personality.

Of course there is a growing field of research out there and I'm sure it won't be long before we unfortunately would need deaddiction centers specifically for Computer addicts / Mac addicts (May be Apple can start working on a deaddiction vaccine!!!) OR Centers that specialize in Mac Abuse Counseling...............

I think Siddharth has a point when he talks about a huge stake for human computer interaction research which so far has concentrated on research on internet addiction but after my brief reading on this topic I didn't come across a single article related to the addictive symptoms of machines themselves......................So people out there......Think think....wake up research needs you!

Giggles

Well something that my roomie said just made us both burst into peals of laughter........
I was asking her if I were to surrender myself to her , do things as if she were controlling me, would she be able to change me, my persona..............

quite calmly she replied.
"No , I don't think so, because you surrender yourself and kidnap me...!!!!!!!!"

Thought it was a really interesting way of capturing reality............. Whatsay roomie...still laughing.......

Light

Today a new day
somehow a new way
I'll follow the sun
for the time has come
good time has begun. 

Well said!

Something that came up in a phone conversation which I would like to remember for some time to come.......... And also they say when you revise memory stands strong even under the tests of forgetting

"Money is a by product of well - directional efforts."
(M.S.N , Sept.2006)
I would like to add to this..... "
and well directional efforts are result of a gamble of choices we make."