I thought I should blog today a little about why I am the way I am.....and I couldn't get past the first two words.Precisely recollecting those words I think they were: I am......and then there was a long akward silence in my mind after that.
Many of my friends love to hang out with me or they are great actors (if they genuinely dislike my company but constantly agree to hang out with me).They call me names behind my back (good and bad) but lately I am surprised people have been fairly courageous to say things on my face.Which is not bad at all, given the fact that I am a big propogator of frank attitudes.
Either ways ,it all started to stir in my mind with a comment that I have heard several times over the past month or so.......
"You are her mom!!!" they said.Yeah who doesn't want to have a kid but I wonder what does that imply in a world where every girl loves to be a hot babe in a DINK (double income/ no kids) kinda world.
Perhaps,I am overprotective of my friends.I cannot see them fall in a pit right in front of my eyes.Perhaps I am over altruistic.
I cannot help but help others?
I think that is my problem.I wonder what would happen if I were not so over protective.But then again I wonder what are friends for if they don't stop you before you trip and fall.I cannot be amongst those who laugh when a friend falls, or amongst those who say "Oh I could have helped you. You should have told me!"
I am just the way I am may be because I need to help others to affirm my existence.I need to be a mommy to attest my survival.
In school I was often ridiculed as the simple kid, In college the conservative,naive on-looker, After graduation I was termed the wanna - be and now I am mommy(I absolutely have been branded as the mom of lost kids on campus here), the only reason for this categorization because I cannot let new friends here feel alone,homesick, hungry and sad.Or is it because friends trust me and take me to be a good friend?
Several names but not one describes me rightly.Let alone justly.
A quick look at what the future holds for me.............I don't even wish to do that, for fear I'd see some other unjust categorization.I wonder why people get branded, I wonder why no one explains.I wonder if there is even a rationale to everything that everyone claims!
In the end I think it's better I stop wondering!
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the best thing you can do for someone is to take care of them as their mom does..i have seen you doing that and you should be proud of it..dont even waste a second regretting the comments of your friends...its not worth it..
some people are aware of your clear conscience and really are proud of you...and i am one of them...you rock!
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