Friday, December 22, 2006

The Traffic Light

The traffic light stands still
the moonlight yet so dull
night spreads it's wings
the dust settles down
droplets of rain rustle on the window
cars screeching
brakes.


fingers tender drumming on the wheel
running one hand through silken tresses
caressing eyes on the rear view mirror
flooded bright lights


speed up
push the pedal
giving gas, engine thrusts power
buzzing by like the wind, wheezes away the wagen
along wet lanes, alone the stars shine far above


Alas, a color determined it all...........

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

a comment

I say: Ice melts in it's own water and that is it's destiny but it doesn't know it yet!

He says: Water is clearer than ice, atleast to the eye. water flows. water can be as cold as ice and yet way warmer. water does not break, it forks. ice preserves death, water breeds life. ice grows up to become water. but it doesn't know it. (s.a.)

thought it was interesting.......

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Cruelty comes in white and blue.........

It's - 22 degrees celsius and dropping.................. It's inhumane, torturous and unfair.......
But eh....who cares?

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

A thought

Ice melts in it's own water and that is it's destiny but it doesn't know it yet!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Oh what a soot!

Walk into a coal mine. say nothing but dream soars,
Dish out all the diamonds , say they all are yours,
and then when the coal mine is all black and void
leave with a beaming face ....say oh what a waste
the darn coal mine grew boring after time,
no more diamonds to my mercy ,
little cherished but oh so fine.
It's all the coal mine's fault that it could bear no more.
Nothing more to give , an empty hollow
But the coal that burned and burned till it could burn no more ,
could give more warmth to the heart than the sparkle of the diamond galore' !

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Checkmate


Ever wondered if there is someone up there in the heavens trying to frame and shape our destiny, our future according to his / her plan. I believe in being gender neutral in this aspect though I would rather characterize the Creator as a he. It makes it easier to believe when you see horrible things happening. Ruthless decisions being made about soemone’s life unlike the caring, loving image that ‘womanly’decisions are usually expected to paint.
The chess board is set. The pawns are in place. The king, the queen and the rookie. All in place. Waiting anxiously to play their part. None of them knows which one is going to win the game, which one is going to fall down, succumb to wishes of some hand that rules every move it makes and none of them have a clue why they are doing what they are and how it is affecting someone else after they themseleves are ousted or thrown out of the picture.
And yet each time, yes every single time that someone up there says checkmate we blame ourselves, we are shocked, surprised, angry or just simply helpless since we could not anticipate it.........Wonderfully amusing isn’t it?

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Sealed lips

A not so while ago one of my friends and I were talking about TALKING and my friend had said to me, well I really don't like to talk on the phone with people. I would get irritated and wouldn't want to believe people like my friend and many others of that type who wouldn't want to communicate using Bell's invention.Or infact I would find it darn annonying and unbelievably haughty behavior when given this excuse that I do not like talking on the phone. Yes quite irrational as this is, it's true. Expectation that the world is just like you are, is a myth and the sooner it breaks the better would be your livelihood.

Recently though, I began to think whether we all are slowly but surely getting addicted to this useful but time consuming instrument called the phone.However soon the tides of change have brought in a new perspective to the act of communication. Well so my friend if you are reading this, I know now what pleasure therein lies when one resorts to a phone free quiet life.

Dialogues within one's brain , solitude and sealed lips that give you freedom from social norms. Freedom from fake ettiquettes and small talk. Freedom from masking and freedom from being lonely in a crowd. Freedom from being misunderstood, Freedom from being misquoted. Freedom from all things untrue and freedom from being laughed at and ridiculed. Freedom from being overestimated and freedom from being bound by anything unintelligible, least of all freedom from being blamed and freedom from being pitied.
I no longer feel the need to be connected. The need to express verbally. The need to talk......

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
----Linkin Park

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

life's like an elliptical machine

Life is indeed like an elliptical machine.
When you are almost worn out, burning deep inside and cannot take a single stride
You are getting the most out of what you are doing...................

Monday, November 06, 2006

Upwardbound

Wings
unleash
Depth
fathom
Faith
spread
Freedom
embrace
Dreams
untold
Hope
unwound
Joy
unbound
Tears
indeed
Laughter
much
Love
more
Live
most.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

De Rabeet Sawng


Hippoty hop Hippoty hop goes the rabbit a plop
Trudging along, singing a song, meddling long

Alice from wonderland, stops by and says her Hi
The rabbit is least aware, million things running her little rabbit land
Bags on shoulder a ton heavy and how they wonder
Buses and trains missed a number

Hippoty hop Hippoty hop goes the rabbit a plop
Trudging along, singing a song, meddling long so long

Well read and polished and so darn learned.
Everyone succumbs to stupidity but rabbit discerns
Cleverly gnawing her way through
The rabbit shows how 4 is nothing but a simple 2 + 2

Hippoty hop Hippoty hop goes the rabbit a plop
Trudging along, singing a song, meddling long so long

Rabbit falls in love one fine day and
The winds of change seem certain
Rabbit however sticks by the old and let’s in the new
So hard to find this quality to come by

Hippoty hop Hippoty hop goes the rabbit a plop
Trudging along, singing a song, meddling long so long

Dearest rabbit, a sweetheart, a friend to live for or die
Let the smile stay so long as the stars shine upon this earth
How your eyes twinkle and shine and tensed is every nerve
May thy true love bring you what you deserve

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Truth of Life

Life often doesn't give you too many choices and
when it does give you choices....it takes away the right to choose.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Oft heard

When you hear something over and over again, either you learn it without understanding it's meaning(Rote learning) or you simply ignore it (noise) however some statements that we hear often just put a smile on your face.......yes a smile that means something yet nothing. A smile that aknowledges a lie and reminds of your own true self. A smile that tells you how far can your patience let this last. So here are those few smile evoking responses...excuses/advices/ just lame ideas..............

  • I am so sorry , I have been a bad friend. But I have just been so busy you know. Life is just crazy right now.
  • So what is wrong with you?
  • See it's the same with everyone. Nobody is happy. Everyone doesn't know what to do in their future.
  • Oh did you need to shower early? I totally forgot............
  • Oh were you sleeping? Did I wake you up with my noise ?
  • So do you miss home?
  • You have no clue how hard it is to live alone.
  • So what's the big deal? It is just $ 40.00
  • Don't think so much .You think too much.
  • So when are you graduating? What are your plans after graduation? Are there any job prospects?
  • You should get married ! You should find someone !
  • Arre you are like my buddy...........
  • What? you haven't done that X thing yet? When are you going to finish it? I don't think you are ever going to finish it.
  • So you are studying Cognitive Psychology? I don't understand a thing about that! So do you deal with mental patients and stuff ? I mean what is that called Schizophrenics....
  • It's so cold here...it's like close to 50 degrees (fahrenheit of course)...typically people from Texas / California / Florida
  • What are you doing for dinner tonight? Are you cooking something? Cook something! You never cook these days!
  • Oh we are just going to hang out today....Have some beers and chill........What movie / play and all........forget it re..you all just come by my apartment and all of us can just relax.......
  • Indian systems are really a mess. But nobody can do anything about it. I mean it's just useless to even try with such a huge population and so much poverty.......
  • Hinduism is the best religion.
  • God knows what all you write in your blog/ why you wrote that particular post. Where do you think of all that stuff from? You think too much!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

TNETNOCSID

Potential of a blank canvas is so hard to fathom
Painting a perfect picture there on requires immeasurable skill
And When the picture is finally done someone's remark "it couldn't have been better !"

ACHIEVEMENT !

But the heart yearns for more as always..........................

celebrations...........

AND finally the first birthday

hopefully many more to come.........To the readers of goblin times.....A big big thank you...it's been awesome to have completed one year in this blogger world.....

The heart hardly has words to express this joy ..........

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Two to tango or two to Waltz?

Does it take two people to maintain a harmonious relationship?
Is it so hard to maintain a balance when one is putting in more effort than the other. Is it fair or not is a different question altogether but what pertains is ....Is this strained relationship actually a relationship or is it a forceful communion of two people who do not have the same goals anymore or perhaps developed differences that they had not envisaged ever before.

So like things fall into place when both take equal measures to maintain equilibrium, similarly both are equally responsible for whatever ruins the equilibrium.

If one has been aggressive then probably the other was so non responsive that they wouldn't go on with the same waltzing life that they initially were so comfortable with.

Whatever the reason may be if one withdraws then may be the other should wait and watch. May be the other should not step forward or backward. For if that one move is made then judgements will be made of whether the forward was pursuit or the backward was withdrawal !!!

Thus hang on....patience is a virtue and so hard to come by. May be the best way to go about things is to wait and watch. Time will tell everything.. .Yes it will ................hopefully !

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The King of hearts

Today as I did my usual routine in the cardio room at the University recreational center, the treadmill right next to me was getting squeakier by the minute and I was absolutely disgusted at the way the girl running on it wouldn't step down and run on another one.
Three minutes later a couple walked in. Well I am sure it was exactly three minutes since I was running and there when you are breathless, every minute is like eternity.
So the couple walked in side by side. Old , weary and tired. The man, an octogenerian; walked a couple of steps ahead. He was wearing a full sleeves shirt and his jacket drooped over his bent shoulders. Rugged shoes, laces barely tied and the woman probably in her late seventies or so. White well kept hair, Thick glasses, a flowery blue t-shirt and a beautiful smile on her face.
She was unsure where in the world they were or perhaps unwilling to come to this place.
Everyone in the room gave them a quick glance and stared back into void as if this much acknowledgement was fair enough.
The woman's smile had vanished and deliberation showed on her face. The man snorted, jittery joints yet calm as he was, he clasped the hand of the woman and squeezed it tightly. Eyes twinkled and they walked in further.The smile returned to her face.In just this small gesture he promised the world to be safe for his lady...........
Perhaps all this might not mean much to the world but when I observed the moment all I thought was kudos to this old man. Quite rightfully I can call him the King of hearts !!!!!
A priceless moment and a indefinable emotion.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Times of Sun en Shade

Time never seems to stand still and I wonder how it yet seems so constant.
Been a long time, precisely a year. Last year around this time something incredibly beautiful happened. I found an old friend of mine through www.orkut.com. Probably one of those social networks many people are addicted / aversive to but for me orkut was great. Got in touch with long lost friends.
It was purely coincidental that we happened to be in the same country and were able to talk.
Unexpected and absolutely different.
When you haven't met someone in a long long time it is sometimes just hard to converse. There are often more silences than words, but on the contrary with my friend it was so easy.It was like picking up the ropes from where we left off like about 9 years ago.......
We talked about anything and everything and yet nothing.
The picture I have up here is of a natural bridge. Time and erosion have caused the rock to wear away but at the same time the bond remains. The bridge is formed and it serves a purpose unknown.
Times of sadness and times of pure bliss,
Moments with humor and moods when one of us is pissed...
But nevertheless a wonderful friendship I think we will treasure...
So here's to your my dear friend........and here's to many more good times to come!


I know my friend doesn't read this blog but surely all you people out there ,who are indeed reading this post....... reach out to your old friends sometimes what seems to have been lost over time could be gained by just a moment or two.
Keep the faith!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

A hand shake alright! A hug -- Taboo ??

Often times cultures clash and then you wonder why we behave the way we do. Some people stop and think if the practices they follow hold any rationale . Others do not.
According to me no practices ingrained in us (as children/ adults) by a culture are good or bad without a sound reasoning to them.

In the western world the personal space bubble is much smaller or rather narrower than in the eastern worlds.Yes population is one of the main reasons why in the eastern world people like to have more personal space. It other words they try to have more distance from others. Especially people of opposite sex. Sociological studies have indicated that in Japan and China people prefer to stop and talk based on a sound that they make when the pass by.

As a teenager I travelled to Europe and witnessed this much talked about public display of affection. Used to feel disgusted sometimes since I have been brought up in a very very traditional Indian cultural background. Girls are restricted with hundreds of dos and don'ts and guys have to stay within their limits (often the notions of limits is undefined). If you see a guy and a girl walking across the street hugging, walking hand in hand.....or anything more ....Be assured with in a week they would be getting engaged in the eyes of the public.

Who makes the society? Who creates norms ?.....We do.
So what stops us from reframing the norms or changing obselete ideals when they need to be changed?
Why do we measure love so much. We think, analyze and then act.
If we feel like hugging someone and if the person is of the opposite sex why is it such a big deal?
Why do tongues have to wag and thoughts have to race so much .That too of people unconcerned and unaffected ..................The gossipmongers

Yes and I do expect a lot of comments on this blog saying well it's not like that anymore in India most parts of the western world and so on, but believe me having travelled quite a bit and having lived in America for long enough I still sometimes get stuck in this rut of should I or should I not hug someone. And there are hundreds of people like me out there.

All I would say is follow your heart. You feel a friend needs a hug, go ahead . Give the friend a big big hug...........Nothing is more important than being honest to yourself and being true to your emotions. Least important are the chains of a society that burden you with unwanted rituals and traditions which more or less have become hurdles in human expression of emotions.

So go on .................... Live , Love , Follow your heart!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

this is unbelievably insane!

It's really insane to click on OK and get this as my fortune for the day on an astrological prediction website; especially insane since i get this prediction right after my post yesterday titled 'wild child' ---------------------

" Talk in riddles and say your sentences backward. Be fanciful and outlandish. Most of the information will be relayed in a non-verbal manner. Let your wild side shine through. Wear the wackiest thing in your closet. Don't give in to the social norm just because it's the thing that has been done time and time again."

Do astrological predictions have a grain of truth in them? Time and again this particular website doesn't fail to surprise me.....Sometimes things have happened and I have checked the website and realized that indeed that was the fortune for the day!!!! eeriieeee but true!

Whether stars determine or actions or not is a question no one can answer ....We can probably argue endlessly but i think I like this mystery and when someone can give probabilistic calculations of how the mystery can unravel....I think it is cool!!!!!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

WILD CHILD

I want to run on roads without fear of being run over
Steal some breeze , walk away with praise
Climb trees unafraid, pluck flowers for all I please
Hiding somewhere deep within is indeed a wild child in me!
Want to say goodbye without tears in my eyes,
Talk brazenly about how bad the food you cooked was
Look straight at you and tell you how mean you are
Hiding somewhere deep within is indeed a wild child in me!
Lucky is the bird that needs no permits to fly around
Roam around the world like my own playground
Want to eat all the chocolate I want without the world giving me cold stares
Hiding somewhere deep within is indeed a wild child in me!
One day, just one day I want to live my life on just my terms
Unabashed, uninhibited but in a sea of anonymity that never discerns
Do not care what and who says how I should be.
Just want to free the wild child hiding within me.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Lake of Love


In the lake of love they waddle away

swimming in the waters they turn their backs and each other dare

white as snow the black necked swans,

red beaked and teary eyes that match the darks.

One of them turns and looks away from the other

solemn and sad wondering whether

The other quickly grasps a small piece of weed in beak

picks it up; takes it to his sweetheart to seek

the love and care that has been hidden in those eyes, all of a sudden comes like a surprise

bewildered yet happy the swan swims in glory

she takes the weed and falters around hunky - dory

the weed in that beak is almost like solace, hard to find and yet commonplace

Beautifully they waltz yet again, teasing and turning in waters green

jolly good times they have spent in this lake of love pristine!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

IRKSOME

To see someone not smile anymore takes you a while
Out of sight does not always work!
To see you missed a train hurts a hell lot
When you want something badly, the wholeuniverse conspires you to get it... is false!
To eat lunch and get an impromptu lunch invite that has to be refused
There are indeed no free lunches in this world!
To love somebody and not be loved back
Sad but true there ain't no true love in this world baby!
To learn a new word and forget the meaning
A fool and folly are seldom apart!
Buying new clothes every month is a wonderful feeling
Innovation sometimes ruins your bank balance!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Try some!

I am an ardent lover of food.......And here's a list of some favorites probably worth a try if you would like to................Buy it. cook it or ask someone to invite you for it............ They are just delicious..........


  • Entenmann's fudge brownie bites
  • Peppridge farms (rasberry) Milano cookies
  • Spinach and Artichoke Dip with Tostitos (hint of lime flavor)
  • Watermelon juice with a little lemon
  • Orange, Kiwis and Mint juice with crushed ice
  • Eggplant Parmesan Sandwich at TGIF (TGI Fridays)
  • Mango rum with gingerale (I do not recommend this for alcoholics)
  • A fresh Iceberg lettuce salad with carrots and tomatoes and Catalina (italian) dressing
  • Haagen Dazs Mint chip Icecream
  • Pad Thai (veggie + tofu) in a decent Thai restaurant

Well try some of these and let me know if they were good.......................

by the way none of the companies pay me anything for promotions.......... so if you are one of the companies and I am recommending you then please think about some goodwill.....I am always open to gifts....and free dinners .............

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Role playing

Dearest Mr.Macho
It's such a pleasure writing to you. I have always admired your muscular thoughts and your stonelike emotions. How are you capable of always being so focused and not letting any kind of happiness or sadness get in your way of living?
I always wonder what would life be if each of us could live like you do and act like you do.
Would being ambitious and running after achievement be the answer to everybody else's problems. Those meek ones who cry and feel and think and in front of God kneel?
Little have I seen any courage and pride in anyone else other than you. Oh hail ye almighty, I praise thee today for your aloofness, your supreme introvertness and your ability to stay away from all that is human and talkative.
It is so vain and yet so adorable to see you strut through the hurdles of life, kicking away all relations and freeing yourself from the chains of dependents. Must be taking a toll on your time allocated for personal grooming.
Do you always strive so hard to follow the cult of 'cool'dom? Or do you ever stir away and think of getting distracted by worldly pleasures of simplicity and boredom?
I have always been in awe of your pompusness and grandeur. Has never been anyone and shall never be like you. Unique, Self focused and wonderfully talented that you are do you ever think this life would be any different had you not taken a step or two towards selfishness and impression management?
I would also mention the fact that although it is a pity (for I feel they are sheer indicators of human emotional existence)you cannot cry (since society says men cannot cry), you cannot crib (because you like to flaunt how much of motivation you have) I do think you are absolutely invincible when it comes to attaining what we mortals call undaunted impressions on the human mind. I have and many more to come will remember you in their minds for it's so hard to let go of memories of personas like you.
May there be a million more out there just like you, Robotic, determined and emotionless!
Amen!
Sobbingly yours (tears of joy ofcourse)
The Goblin.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Unanswered

I was tagged to complete this list by www.siddharthadelkar.blogspot.com and www.notjustjazz.blogspot.com so I am completing the ordeal....
Actually enjoyed it quite a lot....


I am thinking about when?
I said what?
I want to love whom?
I wish to go where?
I hear silence how?
I wonder really wonder why?
I regret for a while but not all the while.
I am who? I am.
I dance with myself to your tunes....
I sing for myself to my tunes. ......
I cry? Why do I?
I am not always whom?
Do I need to be someone?
I make with my hands guilty of what?
I write plenty nothings which?
I confuse myself and how?
I need to in future lies what?

And finally I realized I have too many questions unanswered but I have a smile on my face because when you smile you look good :)
And now here's tagging a few I know to know some more.....
Victim of Desire
Yatzgad
Swatspace
Nikhil

Friday, September 15, 2006

I R O N I C

Lately I am listening to a lot of new songs and here's one that I just cannot stop listening to.......
It's By Alanis Morissette and is called Ironic
The words go like this................
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures
This song says so much to me and still it makes me wonder what is it about these words that make me smile and cry at the same time............ Ironic don't you think ?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

In Response to A Mac -Lover

A few days ago a fellow contributor of the blogger world wrote an interesting take on
Mac- o - mania.The title of his blog was Psychosexual attachment to Macintosh. Here is a link to his blog http://siddharthadelkar.blogspot.com/2006_09_06_archive.html
Well quite confidently I decided to write about what Freud's take on psychosexual attachment to Macintosh would be and within a day I was lost in confusion about what my response would be.

I have always thought I enjoyed Freud's theory and the psychoanalytic world gave psychology a lot of pathbreaking ideas. In the time and frame that Freud developed his theory, human psyche was chained, burdened by societal norms, dos' and donts', conflicts and above all uncertainity in life and what better a solution than sex or love?

Everything and anything that resulted in Neurosis was termed to be sexual in nature. Not only is this incorrect but often misinterpreted by a lot of people who read Freud's theory without probably reading the history of the place Freud was based.

Nevertheless coming back to what I decided to write this blog for.Freud's concepts of Id, Ego and Superego can definitely be integrated in the loves for a Mac.
Given we are always striving towards creating a balance between the three, Id is the one that needs to be neglected and overruled by the Superego at times.

Mac-lovers probably would use the delete key often enough to reset their thoughts which translates to Freud's idea of the defense mechanism of 'Repression'.
Or going without food and water, aimlessly sticking to the computer screen trying to code, draw or read and not being interested in the outside world could be signs of a Mac - 0 - neurotic. Treatment of course would consist of psychoanalysis which would examine the childhood experiences of isolation that lead to this personality.

Of course there is a growing field of research out there and I'm sure it won't be long before we unfortunately would need deaddiction centers specifically for Computer addicts / Mac addicts (May be Apple can start working on a deaddiction vaccine!!!) OR Centers that specialize in Mac Abuse Counseling...............

I think Siddharth has a point when he talks about a huge stake for human computer interaction research which so far has concentrated on research on internet addiction but after my brief reading on this topic I didn't come across a single article related to the addictive symptoms of machines themselves......................So people out there......Think think....wake up research needs you!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Giggles

Well something that my roomie said just made us both burst into peals of laughter........
I was asking her if I were to surrender myself to her , do things as if she were controlling me, would she be able to change me, my persona..............

quite calmly she replied.
"No , I don't think so, because you surrender yourself and kidnap me...!!!!!!!!"

Thought it was a really interesting way of capturing reality............. Whatsay roomie...still laughing.......

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Light

Today a new day
somehow a new way
I'll follow the sun
for the time has come
good time has begun. Posted by Picasa

Well said!

Something that came up in a phone conversation which I would like to remember for some time to come.......... And also they say when you revise memory stands strong even under the tests of forgetting

"Money is a by product of well - directional efforts."
(M.S.N , Sept.2006)
I would like to add to this..... "
and well directional efforts are result of a gamble of choices we make."

Thursday, September 07, 2006

A li'l lint ain't doing no harm

As you are rushing to work all clad in a clean black suit or a dress have you gotten jiffy over a small wisp of lint lurking on your shoulder? You turn around and try to squeeze all your visual capacities to find the exact location of that lint, bothersome.....
...... it's right there on your shoulder, you can see it but don't know it's exact location and can't reach it.It is in your field of vision just short of the blindspot. Restlessness. Discomfort. Impatience.
Wondering whether this bit of lint will screw up your morning. Doesn't look neat, does it?
Well what if we just let the lint be. How much of trouble would it be to just let the lint be rather than squirming your eyes in trying to locate it, twisting your arm in trying to remove it and shuddering in constant fear whether there isn't another little bit of it lurking close by which you missed!
Imperfection often brings in peace. Any thoughts?

Thursday, August 31, 2006

A ; ~(B v C) . therefore intelligent ?

How often do academicians classify people on the basis of grades. Well not so often but quite often enough too.
An A grade in a course means that the student has shown excellent thought and critical analysis of the subject required of him or her. However I always wonder what justice does this do to a student who has the required expertise in regards to thought and analysis but just lacks the persistence.
Or is bogged down by social pressures and loves to party or play music rather than write a paper for the class
Or is emotionally burdened and cannot think straight. Has tears rolling down the cheeks every single time the thought of home or people close to the heart passes in the mind's eye.
Or just doesn't care about grades.
Well but at some point in life every person who belongs to any of the above categories does wonder what it would have been like if he or she were to belong among the elite A's rather than the Bs or Cs of this world. Are they a different breed or are they just like every other Tom across the street?
Success is measured by what what becomes of you and not from where you became. So good grades to me are a necessity only when they reflect the prowess of the person and not otherwise.
They are not markers of wisdom nor are they indicators of sound rationale and judgement. They are merely showcasing the person's ability to learn and score in the school setting.
So much so I would say sometimes it's good to study without a certain grade. Atleast I think I have learnt the most in classes where after mid - semester I didn't care what grade I got by the end of the class but just gave it my 200 % and sure enough like everything in the just world I scored well too.
Thus I will say
A
~ (BvC)
therefore inconclusive !!!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

one life...

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think --- La Bruyere

I came across this quote today on some website and I really started wondering if it was true.
Does life become a tragedy for people who just emote and is it really a comedy for those who think and laugh and more importantly are able to laugh at themselves and the idiosyncrasies of life?

Probably true , probably not. Still in the quest of evidence.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Tough Call

Tougher walls that you build , tougher are they to break
nevertheless people budge in , with umpteen hurts they sad you make.

You try to repace the clock , say you never want to stop
you try to turn around but little do you expect a stab

A stab in the back, a blow unexpected
when you let down your guard, that's when you are eliminated.

Give in to kindness only when you are stone - hearted,
expect back everything except for an honest heart courted.

Stop being nice, caring and loving.
Very few deserve any sort of warning

Let them see the ditch and in it fall,
Fall hard and hurt themselves and feel repentence over all

For only then would they think why you did , what you did
For only then would peace prevail where it should.

Sometimes it is indeed necessary for you to get hurt because often what care and love cannot teach, pain and sorrow teach in a split second.

Monday, August 07, 2006

If I could........I would !!!!

If I could, I would......I would spread my wings and fly around the world.....
These are some of the places I'd like to see...... Not in any kind of rank order....it's just random flights of fantasy....Hope at least some of them come true.....

1) Santorini , Greece
Weekend in Santorini, walk on the beaches on starry nights and enjoying the fresh sea breeze through a window of a beautiful villa.


2) Paris , France

A weekend watching and relieving history at the Louvre Museum in Paris. Walking around the flower markets in Paris, and shopping at Christian Dior for exotic perfumes...........


3) Mauritius , Indian Ocean
Relaxing on the beaches. Having a candle light dinner with the one whom I would spend my life with.....

4)Venice , Italy
A Gondola ride through the Venetian Canals........Basking in the Italian sun, Relishing red red wine and a guitar for the ears..........

5) Prague, Czech Republic

Just a quiet walk by the city square and a little music concert with dinner on the sidewalk ........


6) Cologne , Germany

The Koelner Dom, the market with loads of shopping and the chocolate museum.....Loads of vibrant colors and peace in spite of tandem......


7) Ladakh (Pangong Lake) , India

Calm afternoon by the lake, with hot tea and a wonderful book to read and my camera........

Well if dreams come true I will not complain. I don't know when but I will wait........For all these places hold a special place in my heart......and my brain...It's great there are no taxes on dreams... So dream. Dream on.........You never know when the puzzle pieces will fall into place and when the dream would be reality....... Live... live on in hope that the dreams would come true..........

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

what do they know?...Save a heart that hath tried!!!!


Lonely as a star on a moonless night, I searched through time and came across a perfect sight.
A little icon that felt divine, all it told me was that she was online Gave up all my work and sat up late through the night
At the break of dawn witnessed a dreamy plight.

Couldn't concentrate, couldn't string words straight, Saw how the mechanics of my body failed.
Sleep refused to put my mind to rest, pumping iron I continued in earnest further neglecting all pleasures of mortal being ,
I thrived on pure euphoria of love deceiving.

Mysterious soul mates we were talking and talking till eternity came, felt time should move faster and infinitely stay the same. Thought about the world; a world with just her and me.
And then just me again. Could take it no more than a moment , the absence of her just made my heart torment. Pain wasn't something I avoided long, it always caught up on most domain,
to reach up for something , hold on to faith and then losing everything all over again seemed mundane.

This time around she turned out to be a benevolent soul, she pulled me through the wonderous world, dreaming each day and wishing I'd be with her, dreaming dreams together , wishing we would be one forever.
Then struck reality and slapped me in the face, for reasons unknown she said she couldn't go on with this deep down in the ocean I was drowning, chained to sorrow and grief inviting. Convinced her but in vain, then convinced myself once more to be slain.

Slurps and Puffs did me in, why some good , they did me awesome, yes I should, one night as I lay beside a woman I hardly knew, I forgot how my soul-mate got over the agony and woe.
She had tortured herself in dilemma and confusion although she said no she loved me more than before.

Married to another I was wondering she would soon fade from memory, anger rage or wrath call it if you will, all these she showered on me still. I spoke never again with her and neither did she.Sweet blossoms of misery, closed all my sadness, locked it up well, threw away the key and both decided to rot in hell.

May be I can stop feeling sad, May be not feel anything at all. Numbness and the dark scathing pain inane, screaming thoughts that drive me insane.
I don't belong to her, I never will she will never be mine, she never will.
Goodness I can stop living,certainly can I!
But I can't stop loving her, Why? Why? must I?

Monday, July 17, 2006

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear


Eh ? wondering what this title means or as usual has the goblin decided to talk in abstruse sentences..... A short weekend trip to somewhere always opens your eyes to newer meanings of life I think...
Look at the picture I have taken above ...Outside a realtor's office this selfless flower was basking in the sun giving to the world what it is best at.....flaunting it's beauty with grace but at the same time being oblivious of the fact that it is so beautiful....So unlike us Humans right????

"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear ," This statement of Caution on the passenger side rear view mirror bears a lot of things that it wishes to convey (implicitly)...another of those things that dawn upon you when you think critically or when you are amused about language....
The mirror is convex, the mirror thus compresses reality...The mirror thus decieves you?????? Just like reality sometimes ??? and so the warning..Beware...what you think is impending Doom could be closer than you think.

Good vegetarian food can be amazingly tasty too.For all you meat lovers try eating a pita burger next time,it's awesome. Soy milk doesn't taste all that bad and cooking without any oil at all 100 points for being so health conscious. Unusual and new concept but try doing it atleast once in a while. Will save a lot of money on health care in the long run I think.

Ice Skating... It isn't as easy as it looks. Again reality is deceptive. However it is great fun trying to do what you thought was easy and what your ego begs to differ with your skill and tries to push your limits to perform better than you possibly can.
Do not fall. If you do; do not cry because when you wear roller blades, go on slippery ice and don't have any idea how to balance yourself....The only rational thing that can happen at that moment is the act of FALLING.....so the only thing you can do is probably minimize the impact of your fall

And Lastly.....Moments with friends....PRICELESS...This trip had a lot of firsts.....First one with my closest friend, first one visiting a nearby state, first one driving , first time ice skating and yes first one I was not bored for even a minute ever for TWO WHOLE DAYS...yeah for me that is quite an achievement.....

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Weaving in , weaving out!

Time just never seems to stand still. I often wonder what it would be like to reverse the hourglass and stare at every moment slip backwards. Well not a very interesting proposition I guess. The glorious moments do tempt me to wish for this 'wish' but the hard times tug at my shoulder and warn me not to do this perilous mistake of asking for trouble yet again.
People come and people go. Often times they spend worthless moments pulling each others legs, talking about how cool is someone and how uncool is that Mr. X out there quietly locked up in his shell of security. Little do they think how important that shell is to that Mr.X's sheer existence. Well and then to add to this misery they call all this the ' In Vogue' attitude. Nevermind these distracting thoughts, what is important is thinking of how some others weave in and out of our life and leave a distinct pattern. Often we fail to cherish these colors woven into dangerously beautiful patterns but after a while when the paint dries and the brush still by a window sill, we do applaud the picture painted by the wall!!!!!
A small gasp, a hustle, a chuckle, giggles galore and tremendous energy are always a surprising element in a life which is as blank as a nomad's next 'life map'.
Unplanned life and a spirit for trying new paths is what keeps this flame of life burning ever so bright.
Now I may sound utterly Bard like or I may bore you to death with my philospohical arm strectching out high up above my head trying to search in the open skies, a cloud, an idea , a secret................ But nevertheless a thing I wish to share..............
Live in the moment for we know not when it would pass, Let it pass and when it does , don't sigh, Just look up and smile and wonder how???? and Why ???? . Don't reason just ask, Don't expect just accept. Don't think ,JUST BE!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Saying Goodbye



Bidding Goodbyes has always been hard , friends closeby when they travel miles apart

Little can you say to say what you feel, little emotion is hardly any deal.

I will miss you my friend when you are far gone.

I will miss you so much although a new life you'd have begun

May you get all you want, may all your dreams come true

May you have the world's riches and a Ford Mustang too...........

All I wish to say is I will never forget you.......and so don't you too!!!!

####### This post is dedicated to my best friend here and probably that one person I am thankful for sticking around through thick and thin by my side................... Love you a lot dearest friend and will always be here for you....... Good Luck... #######

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Crash

Crash a word that eliminates distance , crash a word that means elimination ??

Sunday, June 18, 2006




Last time the sun set in the sea i dreamt of a bright sky,
Goodness how time just flies by,
the little bird by my window sits with a broken wing
aiming in the air, hoping to fly in,
I talk to it every morning when I wish my voice be heard
May he heed to my wishes and fly high above.
When the wind blows i quickly close in my window,
not a wisp of fresh air do I want to mess my abode
little do i wonder what it would be like, to let the wisp of air
help me rebuild!
Long before there is dawn, the dusk sets in
there is no going of darkness and in comes a ray
sunrise it is, peaceful and far from despair.
In so many words I say what I could never have
In so many words I tell myself what is
A mystery to me, and to all

Sunday, June 04, 2006

A WAR FOR THEM , A LUNCH FOR OTHERS

Yesterday the day began so early. Got up and saw two tensed roomies hovering around my room waiting for me to wake up since I had already switched of my alarm twice in event of trying to sleep five minutes more. There was so much to be done. They say a lot of imperfect things make one perfect picture. I totally believe in this now since we had an awesome team built here while cooking this lunch for friends.
Initially the ideas for the war strategies were pouring in. Menu was a tough choice because we were probably handicapped with our limited supply of cooking ammenities, and capabilities but finally with some external (foreign hand ) support we managed to pull of this secret operation successfully. Paneer Nawabi (Just assorted veggies mixed with paneer and tons of gravy, Raita / Salad , Parathas (indian form of bread) and ice cream it was going to be.
Cutting, Chopping, grating and then more mixing and sauteing and other such words that served in the third order of the Cookery army ...took part in this massive operation.Pots rallied and it was the pans that won over.The spoons had an upperhand, heat was a detrimental factor since constant cooling was required for all the soldiers either in the form of warm or cold beverages.
The onions were slaughtered and the potatoes mercilessly boiled in hot water, Tomato puree sacrificied it's life for the curry's sake and the cocunut oozed out some oil before taking it's last breath.However all was invain ! The paneer nawabi had to be made and had to be made soon.The paneer itself tried hard to stick around, froze and then gave up when the bold microwave took over. It was a battle trying to pepper in some sense in the paneer but little did the paneer understand that it's difficult behavior was only making the warriors more determined in the tasks to eliminate all ice and drown it in blobs of red tangy sauce.
The onions minced and mixed with some corriander were sauted, the puree added and a truce was signed after the paneer compromised and gave up finally after a tough battle that lasted a good ten minutes. Operation Paneer Nawabi was over. Objective accomplished.
On to the next battle the warriors marched. It was the Paratha Challenge.A good host of 54 parathas waited to take form.Cooperation was hard to find. The Dough acted all sticky and didn't want to be parted .But as always ' Divide and Rule' worked and finally small dough balls were blasted and rolled, battered down flat by the rolling pin.The wooden torture for them didn't suffice the need for control so they were then subjected to the hot pan treatment and a third degree temperature assured firm reforms.
In the end the 54th paratha saw the last light when it joined its other companions in the steel chamber where they were imprisoned , awaiting their TRIAL.
Raita (salad) was a piece of cake after all these tough battles. The raw veggies used for coleslaw , the cucumbers and the tomatoes that were hiding behind the cold walls of the refrigerator were all driven out mercilessly. Without any further notice they were chopped off. A slice, a cut and gone..................... The were ready to be buried in heaps of yoghurt and other allied forces of the spice country.A good stir and the last cries were lost in the cold waves of the serbian deserts of the refrigerator.
The flags of the winning warriors were hoisted. Then peace established. Treaties signed and benefits declared.Sweets followed and the deserted wine was popped open with galore!!!!!!!!!

---------***>><<***-----------------***>><<***------------------------

Thursday, May 11, 2006

D o s t - (b) l o g

This blurb of words, I write as a Thanks to friends who walked in and out of my life or are here to stay and have made a big big impact on my life............................
Naming names is not very nice so all of them stay anonymous but I will give them a nick name that I identify them with.

So beginning from the very beginning of life here are a few who are far far away!!!!

Telegu Amma
A friend for life but only connected through letters and e-mails and all such things that we communicated with and are still communicating for the over a decade now. This friend and I have shared exciting adventures of trying to cook real food in ‘pretend - play utensils’ (read bhatukli/ ghargatta) and we have sat on top of cupboards and done rallies with our bicycles…………………this brainy babe works for IBM and soon….hopefully soon I will meet her I guess…..in either of our weddings if that happens or otherwise.

Inspirational Dude
Memories of teenage are usually so hard to dissolve in the confusion of life but some are really hard to let go. One such guy that I know of was an ace business man even at the age of 12. He actually made me believe that spirits exist …..Successfully managed to fool me in the various games we played…….let me play cricket with him and other guys. His intelligence was an inspiration and yeah his looks something to drool on…..don’t mean to sound too nostalgic but my first tid - bits of Marathi slang (information) was gathered from this dude……Can talk 24*7…….and can talk sense that long!
Time never stands still and we lost touch but became friends again….different places, different time…..manners persisted though!

The Obsessive Perfectionist
She is the reason why I am doing what I am doing today. Have known her for about almost 10 years. A lot changed over this time….she went from being single to being someone’s wife and me from a masters’ degree holder to second masters but our friendship has been ever so wonderful! Different countries but telepathy rules…Punctuality, need for orderliness and determination is what I learnt from her. I wouldn’t have cleared even 11th grade had it not been for her earnest desire to wake me and take me to college with her to write the final exam which I conveniently had forgotten about………Kudos to her determination…….

The ‘CRAZier’ than me Gypsy
When in doubt call her! That is the rule I live by. However I say crazier because I identify with her too well. Do regard myself to be a little crazy if not much. So this one…..really don’t know how became such good friends with her but one thing’s for sure she understands me perfectly. Amazing at counseling, happens to take it up as her profession soon ……and yes one thing about her….she is never afraid to face fear in the face. Never will a friend hear “I don’t have time from her”. People say I will always be there for you but she follows that sentence to the T. Let’s see where life takes us from here.

Sensitive Brat
Heard of anyone throwing hard snow peas at someone’s wedding instead of rice lentils? Heard of anyone putting chicken in the refrigerator and hiding it there for a week when your mom (strictly against meat) doesn’t allow it? Well some of the things this pal of mine has accomplished. At the same time things like a friends’ farewell can make his eyes moist! A romantic to the core, he hates to take a book in his hands but can write wonderful verses if need be !!!!!!!
It doesn’t take too many notes to strike a chord with him and yet we share a good rapport. Been through a lot of rough times in life…..Been friends for too short a time but will always have a lot of respect and care for each others’ livelihood.

So thanks to each one of you for being you!!!

Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends."- Richard Bach


Monday, May 01, 2006

Tic tic one , tic tic two........Give up?

Tic tic one ...tic tic two...says the chime now,
what would be the next thing you want me to give up on?
I gave up a smoke for you got suffocated,
gave up the shot, cause you feel nauseated,
gave up shoppping because the bank wouldn't let me buy more,
going to give up chocolates cause the greys won't leave my hair alone.
Gone are the habits of hanging around idle coz, the world beckons hard work
going to leave a date for there seems no future for a dork!
get to the point and got to give up a dream,
money doesn't suffice to fund every team
looks i gave up on thinking i'd concentrate on the brains,
brains didn't work whose fault was it anyways????
So then giving up a life for which i traded happiness of other,
in the end no one was happy , rather there was just an expectation to shatter.
A score and something spent on giving up things, embracing vaccum , pitching in sacrifice
I think tic tic one ......tic tic........two............I gave up something to replace it with eternal peace!

Friday, April 28, 2006

Seeking You!

Found him, found him finally,
made me think, ponder ,wonder caused a big blunder
but endless sleepless nights have ended now.
Found him, found him truly forever now!

Thought the way life was, seemed so unstable
the way things looked so unreal,
and then again no one can assure me except myself,
things will alter , new changes they'd bring in.
Found him, found him truly forever now?

Learned a lot by listening to others, questions querries and abstract answers
Turned to him and looked within for strength,
turn the force, go against the tide,
He assured by me he would always abide.
Found him now, found him truly forever NOW!!!!!!!

Loved him effortlessly, brought to my face a smile,
made me forget all worries, left me dreaming of a good future,
Liked my craziness , eloped with my fascinations
intricate he thinks is my exhuberance, demands no justifications.
Found him now, found him truly forever now,

This newly found someone , my sweetheart, my loved one.
This new peace of mind and this new solace
is none other than a sweet surrender
a long term CHANGE !!!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

virtual trust

On a bright sunny day, I happen to have an intriguing conversation with a person far away, not even visible to me. I have never met this person before, just a friend’s friend. And this friend I haven’t met in a long time either. It’s been a long time and people change but some do not and I always place my bets on most who do not change. Or rather I like to believe that they will not change for I adore them, admire them sometimes even foolishly revere them.
Internet and computers sure have made life easier. We can bond across the seas and cross the barriers of distance in no time. However like every rose has a thorn, this fast paced means of communication certainly messes up life and faith in humans quite often.
One thought that came to my mind as I talked to this indirect friend, most certainly was brought up in the conversation, What if? What if the person across seven seas is lying? What if he or she says they are XYZ and they are not? What if they say they are born with a silver spoon and they are not?
Have you ever imagined, you fall head over heels in love with someone you haven’t seen and then are ready to give up all to meet the person, spend a lifetime with the person and no sooner have you jumped the bandwagon, does this wonderful soul reveal secrets that were never meant to be told. The person was cheating on you. The person was breaking your trust each time you thought they were oh so loyal!!!!!!!!!!!
Or think of this scene, when a person is talking to you, assuring you the sky and then one day when things go wrong by the score, as they sometimes do, the person never even checks on you. You notice inconsistency but what can you do? You are bound by the anonymity, the incapability to control circumstances.
So many more things happen and I really wonder if we should trust the person on the other side who is on the other end of an Online Chat conversation.
But then again if you don’t trust you might not meet those few gems out there. All I think we can do is take everything with a pinch of salt and life won’t be so complicated. And what the hell, even if it is complicated? It is much more fun that way. Isn’t it?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

DO YOU FEEL LIKE THIS?

IF YOU SAY 'YES, EXACTLY LIKE HOW I FEEL'; THEN................
YOU NEED TO CHECK YOUR EXPECTATIONS/ BELIEFS...........THESE ARE IRRATIONAL BELIEFS.IF YOU AGREE YOU FEEL IN A PARTICULAR MENTIONED WAY THEN DON'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU GET DISAPPOINTED IF THEY DO NOT HAPPEN!!!!!!

1. It is absolutely necessary for me to be loved and approved of by nearly everybody
2. I must be thoroughly competent & adequate in all respects or I am worthless
3. Certain people are bad and wicked and must be punished and blamed
4. If things are not the way I like them, then it is a terrible catastrophe
5. Unhappiness is caused by external events over which I have no control.
6. Some things are terribly dangerous and life threatening, so I must keep thinking about them most of the time
7. It is easier to avoid difficulties and responsibilities than to face them
8. I am not able to do things myself; I must find somebody stronger on whom I can rely
9. I should be very upset over other people’s problems and disturbances
10. What happened to me in the past determines what I do and think now, and because some event was traumatic in the past, it will be traumatic now
11. There is always and right and precise solution to human problems, and if that is not found, I must be very upset

SINCERE SUGGESTION .........BE REALISTIC........RECONSTRUCT FALSE OR IRRATIONAL BELIEFS AND LIFE WILL SMILE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Freude

'Freude' is not rare to find when you look within yourself.
It is in every breath you take, in every beat you make.
I was searching so long for something outside of me.Little did I notice that it was right within me.I decided to pause to think how to bring it out. I thought I'd fail but don't care now since anyways cannot take time out.
Solutions ask not what we need.
Solutions tell us what we need!

There was a time I thought everything comes for free, you will get it if it's in your destiny.
And then now I think again.....Is that true? If so then no pain or cry should ensue.
But as we see the reality is else.....I need to make the most of myself.
I need to take control and decide where to go,
Destiny is a wild fire , it goes where the winds flow.

I will make it in life. I will be successful.
I will win it all, I will be so cool
Now this is not an illusion , nor a bragging point.
I demand some consideration for I am one of a kind!

Friday, April 07, 2006

Dream on.....


Dreams are unpredictable
Dreams are subtle
Dreams are a giant wonder
Dreams are never in deep slumber
Dreaming of you, of him and of her
dreaming in void....never heard to occur

Dreams lead to moods,
moods to desires
desires lead to wants
wants specified create tension
tension leads to oblivion
oblivion of all sorts
Oblivion to disagree to say no to division of parts
Parts disintegrated don't tell a story,
parts disjuncted lead to a state so gory........
Dreams are to blame and desires not
if you have no dreams can peace be sought?

And then again dreams are not always wild,
they can be sweet
wishing always something great and grand not simple
goodness and grandeur is lunged for by people
Dreams of gold houses, showers of love and gardens of happiness,
comfortable cars, money machines unlimited.
lovely friends and very few foes.
Dreams keep you going , who says dreams make you fall over your toes

But be careful what you dream for they say when you really want something it does come true,
the whole universe conspires to bring it to you
however how do you know to dream right when you don't know what is in store for you,
a dream , a nightmare or a combo of the two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Courage

Courage is to stand up in a crowd and disagree,
Courage is to learn to ditinguish between every degree
Courage is to face death with a smile
Courage is to withstand the pain of a loved one's death.... all through the while
Courage is to see pain and tell yourself you don't feel anything,
Courage is to face a storm and not break anything.
Courage is to understand the nuances and yet agree there exist none,
Courage is to abandon the easy way out and treat complexity as fun.
Courage is to learn to give and not expect anything back
Courage is latent, hidden , it's not showcased in a pack
Courage outdoes fear, Courage makes you a seer,
Courage demands you dry the tear and courage means; in sadness you cheer.
Courage is faith, Courage is integrity,
Courage is oneness even in 'loneliness - infinity'!
Courageous is a child who can stand up and say 'No' to a stranger offering candy,
Courageous is the soul that can decide for oneself,
Courageous is an octogenerian who refuses to be treated though death is certain otherwise.
Courage comes unknowingly if only you let yourself free from fear of the unknown, self doubt and despise!

Monday, April 03, 2006

Solace

I am so tired of even opening an eyelid now.Everytime I open my eyes, it's a new day with new miseries waiting to pop out of the blue and come and haunt me like that wretched nightmare which I most want to avoid.
Thoughts, thousands of thoughts, pounding, shouting, screaming, a cause of pandemonium.Grey cells wondering, confused.Obligated nerve impulses shoot.
Blood just drives to the nerve endings.What is the purpose, some more food for thought the environment demands.
Thirty times a day I look at the watch.Not to see if time has elapsed but hoping that it passes by fast!
Frustrated i stomp out of a room, irritated with even my own existance.Aura of sadness creeps mysterously , treachously close from within.
There are loads of reasons why and what became.But now there is only one insane answer in this mind.Stop, don't think.Just stop that thought....Now...Right now ...stop that thought NOW. For none have seen tomorrow and tomorrow may be too late to stop!
I want to break free, I want to dissolve,colors of the sun are a reason to live by, stars promise peace but they lay too high.
All I need is a water and shadow of a tree.I'd laze around, but goodness would the thought stop and leave me peaceful and sound?

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Country roads take me home..........

Finally the day arrived, I rented a car all on my own (courtesy a courageous friend who accompanied me on the drive), and yes drove on the Interstate.
It was a Nissan Altima, silver in color and smooth as butter.
First few things that went wrong included not adjusting the mirror,not checking the headlights and yeah most importantly, the gears shift- stick was a different make, a different design.
Anyways after much adieu and a few important rules or rather words of wisdom from that friend of mine, I took off from the parking lot of the airport and went to explore the roads of the city.
It was a wonderful feeling to be behind the steering wheel, to be in the control position of the car , rather than being a backseat observer.
Loved the speed factor. The car has good pick up and that i could make out even with the slightest pressure on the accelerator.
Given that I drove a little in India, i really did miss the clutch and stick shift part of driving, however driving was much more relaxed here..........in the U.S
I also made a trip to Peoria and back.Head was throbbing but forced myself to drive for I wouldn't get such a chance again.Did make a couple of mistakes and I think it is more of an ego issue to be told when you make a mistake that you are not supposed to.However to err is human and failure is the stepping stone to success.
Made a futile attempt to parallel park but consoled myself saying the space wasn't big enough to park the car.Indeed it was very little space!!!!!!!!!
Ended a day by driving to a gas station, filling gas and returning the car to the rental company.
Oh wow, what a feeling.All this to get a driving license and to drive away, far far away.One dream, one wish........to make a road trip before i return home.Let's see if I accomplish this one.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Ummm....

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously!
~ Noam Chomsky.

The sentence says all i want to convey.Perfect Syntax doesn't always complete communication effectively.
Is it always so useful to be politically correct? Is it useful at all for that matter?
It is at times good to say things others would not like to hear if they are necessary.It is hard though!

Monday, March 27, 2006

************ Thought of the day!************




"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ~

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Up and Above!



A warm sunny day filled with clouds,
teasing and chiding ,planning hideouts,
the spells of rain shower,
dry heated dust wants to savor
the sweetness of breath and
the warmth of love
the trouble with desire is like untamed fire,
uncouth, unaware, unmeshed......
pure and raw ; it hurts me who is ill fated,
I want to stop that feeling,
don't want or long or pine;
love need not be reciprocated because
don't most of us think it is divine?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I've lost something!

Lost something a little while ago,
have no idea where to find it,
have no idea why do i need to,
have no idea where to go,
have no idea when will i get it back,
have no idea what will pacify my soul,
have no idea how things will change,
have no idea who will help out,
have no idea, have no idea at all.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Buckle up Dorothy!For Kansas is going Bye Bye........

A Break and that too a long deserved one or for someone like me who doesn't get too many of those, a most wanted break we can say.Last week happened to get about three days off.No work , no studies or rather I chose not to part- take in any of those activities, essentially a part of my identity right now.
All this rambling is just an introduction to what? well a quick 'JAUNT' as a friend names it...To Kansas ....Beautiful, serene Kansas.
Yes this was indeed the same place where they had a tornado about three days before I landed there.Severe weather expected and yeah two friends who were so busy on the day I arrived.
But they made time for me.Made good food for me.Took care that I enjoyed every moment I was there.Introduced me to their friends and in short enjoyed the break to the hilt.
Good food included a stint to a restaurant called ZEN ZERO in downtown Lawrence.Ever end up in that town.....trust me ...this place is a must visit.Affordable and delicious food.Pad Thai was awesome and what was even more interesting is all of us ate with chopsticks quite successfully and patiently.
Besides all the fun evenings and the pooling night...........the last day in Kansas City downtown stole all laurels for this trip.Built on the lines of a Spanish province Seville..........this small area of Kansas City called Plaza was charming.Colors merged with the serene landscape and beautiful statues complimented the spanish villa style buildings.
The Barnes and Noble here is wonderful.If there was one thing I didn't like about this trip was saying Goodbyes to all and especially to my dear friends.....But I guess we have to go away so we can meet again......anew , enthused and yes ever loving ...............

Will miss you a lot......

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sleep deprived & Indian food deprived succumbs to Blogging

Almost a week I had been dreaming to get a regular 8 hour beauty sleep this week. My usual quota of sleep now is somewhere between 4 to 5 hours a day. Absolutely ridiculous for I know this lack of sleep doesn’t let me function to my full potential. Nevertheless I do not mind it because I hardly have an alternative.
Finally after a hard duty night and room checks (about 200) and another grueling 4 hours working at the front desk, I finally was free to leave for the night.
Yup! It’s that unexpected freedom that sometimes appalls us more than the feeling of being tied to something.I didn’t know what to do first.
Just took a quick shower, changed, and got all dressed to go bowling with friends. Did that. Lost both the games. I hate losing a game. I don’t know why!!!!!! But yeah it was fun.
Specially one of my friend’s was exasperated with her futile attempts to master the art of successful bowling……Which can be defined as where the ball hits at least one of the ten pins. She was eventually crowned the Gutter Queen.‘The Itchy from Trichy’ was another of my friends who gave us several techniques of how to play well…..inspite of not being able to play to his fullest potential (or so he claimed)
My two other friends just commented on every single thing that they could think of and scrapped my plan of going to the Indian restaurant like nobody’s business but who cares about food when one is having sooooo much fun?????
I talked to a few friends home…..Back in India two of my school buddies are tying the knot pretty soon! It was so exciting to talk to them, find out how they met their respective sweethearts and yes also argue about why the wedding had to take place in my absence(?????? Which anyways I don’t have much of a say in)
Then we all (the 5 bowling champs) went over to a friend’s place and watched a wonderful movie ….called ‘A FEW GOOD MEN’.
It was a good movie and Tom Cruise looked amazingly smart. Jack Nicholson was probably at one of his best performances in this one.
ENJOYED IT TO THE T!
Came home late around 3 am and whoops, lay in bed counting stars……….Yes quite literally was trying to count stars on a densely cloudy night…….The moon looked awesome though. Called home, and then called some folks over in Mumbai.
It was good to talk so freely, since I finally have a break. But guess what….the spring break hasn’t even started and I am getting even lesser sleep that before………..Had to work at 6:00 am so that means had to get ready by 5:50 am.
In short, slept an hour and a half after I finished chit chatting with my folks about this, that and the other.
Hopefully spring will bring in some good luck.
Hope to get some work done……………and loads of sleep..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………..

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Rendenzvous

Well what do you expect? It's women's day they said.......A poetry slam in some shack or a coffeehouse or something, Nah, I had better things to do today! I retorted...
Like think about robots and how real life thinking doesn't help to build real perceptive robots.
I was breaking my neck over some research done way back in 1987 and believe me, I loved to read this paper.It was by an Artificial Intelligence researcher from MIT , U.S.A and what do you expect when you read work by one of the prolific reserachers in robotics from one of the best institutions of the country of his time................

"Sheer exhuberance of his own bombasity???????"No , not at all.Infact the paper was a modest attempt to put things into the right perspective.
As I got done with the paper and was about to leave I saw an old friend of mine.I hope she didn't think I pounced on her the minute I saw her............But seriously I was so so so so happy to see her.Not that we are amazingly close friends, but nevertheless I don't know why I think she happens to be just one of those few people I can connect with.I can talk to, even without talking tons of words. I was delighted atleast we could exchange a few sentences before she was on a way out to some show, she was going to attend.But yeah that was quite an experience and I think that really put me in a good mood.
I came home and dealt with a horrible work issue, with dirty undone laundry, dishes and a lot of homework but deep down in my heart I was contended.Why? I still don't know. But I was experiencing a little happiness I guess.Haven't been used to that happening lately but yeah life doesn't fail to surprise me every now and then

I think there are people who make you go out of your way to avoid even a glance and then there are those OTHERS who inspire you.............
Inspire not in the sense to be like them, but just give you enough inspiration to have the courage to be YOURSELF..........
To celebrate your own persona and be the queen / king of your own personal bubble.To such friends
I dedicate this blog and to my dear friend whom I met today.......
Kudos to you! Don't know what's it about your personality that I admire so much but just think that
To be you is to revere independence, to celebrate thought and to emulate enthusiasm!
THANK YOU for being YOU!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

TALK TO ME.............

Heart : "So what you upto today you miniscule organ , one whole bundle of funny neurons, entangled nerves and so many electric potentials going up and down all day?"
Brain : "Will be just chilling in the confusion today."How about you? Are you busy today? Feeling anything at all?"
Heart: "Yeah a few wants have been on my mind recently (psk psk.....giggling brain at this point)
Brain : "YOU ? have a mind too?" "Now when did that happpen?"
Heart: "Is somebody feeling threatened now?" I mean I have decided to catch up on some skill sets that I was a stranger too.
Brain : "Now are you going to claim that you can do a better job of thinking than me?"
Heart : "Now when did I claim that.Wow you can surely read between words!"
Brain: "So what is the whole confusion about?" Have you consulted your action department at all?" "Is there nothing they can do for you to relax a bit?"
Heart : " Oh I've tried it all.Now I have just decided to play low, and do what feels right."
Brain : "Hey let me know if you need anything. I will be there for you!"
Heart: " Yeah right!!!!!!! After all the overtime work that you have indulged in (thinking, imagining, contemplating etc etc) You think I am going to call you?" Yeah no problem...I will call you if I need you. Thank you.
Brain : "Ah well it was my responsibility to ask, but yeah once again I say........Don't think too much....Your job is just to feel, not think......"
Heart : "Well you are right and I shall feel too......it's just that since I need to feel right, I gotta think right too.."
Brain : "Hope you feel better soon"
Heart : "Hope you stop thinking too much..................For then I shall definitely feel better soon!"
Brain : "Ya alrite, truce.......I won't think now on.I will just not think!"
Heart : "Hell you won't, why do you always have to go to the other end of the spectrum, can't you just be neutral?"
Brain:"yeah like think and not think? IS that being neutral in your terms? Ha hah ha ha I'll try that.Sure"
Heart : "Well you don't need to mock at me.All I want for God sake is a little peace of mind"
Brain : "ha Ha ha ha ha haha haha haha So now here we go again....Peace of MIND!!! the mind, one mind , your mind????? Ha ha ha ha ha. We'll see how that happens....Good Luck!"
Heart: "Yeah thank you very much! I think I will get my peace of mind...............Whether you support me or not" Good bye!
Brain :"Bye Bye!" Take care darling confused organ with a bundle of veins and artiries pumping the hell out've you.!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Friday, March 03, 2006

One of those days....

Yesterday was one of those days when nothing appeals to the human mind.The brain has no qualms about wasting every minute on hand and eventually getting to a point where nothing and noone means anything worthwhile.
It was a totally unfruitful day.If there exists a word like unfruitful.
Talking on the phone, meeting friends, drinking coffee several times (justifying to myself that i needed a break) and yes then meeting friends again, (taking a break to read a couple of articles only) and then to highlight it all a stint to the Mall.


Now I wonder sometimes my life is an open book and everyone can comment on what I do, but when I say this ever so proudly why does it hurt to hear anything about my actions.
I waste time.I fritter at any given opportunity.
I take advice from everyone for I crib to no extent.Am I really in need of a purpose in life?Am i treading on a totally wrong sojourn? Need I assess my values?Does the future hold anything substantial for me.
Now the time is that I just forget answering all these questions and absolutely focus on what needs to be done right now, today.But then I wonder when would I get to answering all these questions?Undoubtedly I have been avoiding them.And I , who has average intelligence, decent resources and sound backing from my social realm.............how can I not be willing to push myself and achieve something.
The only good thing that happened yesterday though was a meeting with a German Professor.And I think it really made me so happy to get an opportunity to talk a few sentences in german with the lady.I will work on my next goal of doing some research study with her.Hope it all works out in the end.
A quote I had read recently said
"IT'S ALL OK IN THE END AND IF IT'S NOT OK IT'S NOT THE END!!!!"

I hope this is true in all it's eternity.
To my new found motivation and to a spirit called LIFE........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Phenomenal Woman

PHENOMENAL WOMAN


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them They think I'm telling lies.
I say It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips The stride of my steps The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me.

I walk into a room Just as cool as you please
And to a man The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me A hive of honey bees.
I say It's the fire in my eyes And the flash of my teeth The swing of my waist And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me.

Men themselves have wondered What they see in me They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see.
I say It's in the arch of my back The sun of my smile The ride of my breasts The grace of my style.
I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me.

Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud When you see me passing It ought to make you proud.
I say It's in the click of my heels The bend of my hair The palm of my hand The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me.

Maya Angelou

Oh I so love this poem.......I guess many of you out there would love it too.........just phenomenal , isn't it?

Monday, February 27, 2006

Of Wilderness and More

This was an old composition for someone...........Yet my original work so I thought let me put it out there.................


I think of the wilderness and the paths that converge there.
Not one is ever treaded or bare.
What i think then is let me go on one of 'em I fail to see what or where it leads to, but even then i go on hoping i will meet a traveller or two.
I don't assume happiness and of course I am scared.
But when i end up alone at the destination I have a traveller waiting there.
I realize the path i treaded on wasn't the wrong one.
I was all alone but the journey wasn't invain
all because I had someone waiting at the end.
I never knew about it so perhaps it was nice.
Had I known i would have probably reached earlier too.
What i want to tell u is your path is barren and you are travelling alone too
but speeden up soon for i am waiting for you !!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

WORDS....EVERLASTING WORDS....

Hundreds of people have asked me "what is psycholinguistics?" i have explained it a hundred times too but this friday I actually got an opportunity to delve in the linguistics side of it.Wow, what a seminar.
The english department at my university coordinates a seminar series every spring.So this year their first speaker of the series was a Polish Professor, Dr. E.Tabakowska from Krakoff, Poland.
A very learned lady with an excellent sense of humor.
I thought let me share some of the highlights of this talk with other language enthusiasts.So essentially we come to a question ' Why do we need language?'
Answer isn't complicated at all.
Language is a medium to express.However how the iconicity is interpreted universally alike is a mysteriously interesting proposition of study.
Dr. Tabakowaska began with a simple sentence .............'The language I use is because I see what I see and I want you to see what I see.'
Well we all agreed to that. We do communicate because we want the other person to know our perspective but then the next statement she said,raised a few sighs and gasps.............' We see icons of a language, could be pictures, symbols or letters (also symbols in a way), these are arbitrary but they each have an assisgned motivational value to them.And this motivation helps us communicate and interpret.Often when the signs are assigned the same motivation in a culture, they convey the same meaning.However there are symbols that are universal and grammar that is universal and we often make sense of the world from the world itself.'
Now this was a little heavy to take it at face value but she made it a point to give us apt examples to explain what she meant by iconicity and language perception and comprehension.
To quote a few would be as follows.

" People took pride in the peruque(instead of using a word like wig and the puffed petticoat, in the landscaped park , in the painted porcelain and the powdered pudendum (ibid, 595)
Now this statement not just describes the people of that historical period.......just the sheer use of words conveys their proud behavior, their uptightness and so many other things that the word order could have not if it were differently put.

Another one was about how a statement can be made into a command or it can be impinged on the memory sheet forever by minimum usage of words and also it can be a much more sharp / decisive command if the words are equal length.Like Caeser's description 'Veni, Vedi, Vici.
Three words, crisp and starting with V which somehow reminds people of distinctiveness.

Also another interesting thing was...........Ever thought about it...whenever we give instructions/ descriptions to people about where things are located/ kept , we give them in such a way that if the listener were to look for them they would just follow the sequence of the sentence and then get to the destination concerened.Although grammatically placing one clause before the other wouldn't be wrong we never do so.An instance would be as follows.
The book is upstairs, on your right, in the top shelf of the cupboard, right across from the blue folder.Now the right across from the blue folder could have been before we described that the book was in the top shelf, but we do not do so.
Now is it that cognitive linguistics are trying to study this phenomenon.However what remains to be found is whether it will make a huge difference in perception if this order were changed.I think it would certainly affect their cognitive maps.

I would leave you with an age old Chomskian argument "Words do not make sense without meaning even though they follow the right syntax, for e.g the following sentence is grammatically correct but semantically it doesn't make any sense at all.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously!!!!!!!!!!!!
So well think about why you speak the next time you do and wonder whether the motivation behind your language is the same as another person's......................................................