Thursday, October 05, 2006

A hand shake alright! A hug -- Taboo ??

Often times cultures clash and then you wonder why we behave the way we do. Some people stop and think if the practices they follow hold any rationale . Others do not.
According to me no practices ingrained in us (as children/ adults) by a culture are good or bad without a sound reasoning to them.

In the western world the personal space bubble is much smaller or rather narrower than in the eastern worlds.Yes population is one of the main reasons why in the eastern world people like to have more personal space. It other words they try to have more distance from others. Especially people of opposite sex. Sociological studies have indicated that in Japan and China people prefer to stop and talk based on a sound that they make when the pass by.

As a teenager I travelled to Europe and witnessed this much talked about public display of affection. Used to feel disgusted sometimes since I have been brought up in a very very traditional Indian cultural background. Girls are restricted with hundreds of dos and don'ts and guys have to stay within their limits (often the notions of limits is undefined). If you see a guy and a girl walking across the street hugging, walking hand in hand.....or anything more ....Be assured with in a week they would be getting engaged in the eyes of the public.

Who makes the society? Who creates norms ?.....We do.
So what stops us from reframing the norms or changing obselete ideals when they need to be changed?
Why do we measure love so much. We think, analyze and then act.
If we feel like hugging someone and if the person is of the opposite sex why is it such a big deal?
Why do tongues have to wag and thoughts have to race so much .That too of people unconcerned and unaffected ..................The gossipmongers

Yes and I do expect a lot of comments on this blog saying well it's not like that anymore in India most parts of the western world and so on, but believe me having travelled quite a bit and having lived in America for long enough I still sometimes get stuck in this rut of should I or should I not hug someone. And there are hundreds of people like me out there.

All I would say is follow your heart. You feel a friend needs a hug, go ahead . Give the friend a big big hug...........Nothing is more important than being honest to yourself and being true to your emotions. Least important are the chains of a society that burden you with unwanted rituals and traditions which more or less have become hurdles in human expression of emotions.

So go on .................... Live , Love , Follow your heart!

4 comments:

Victim Of Desire said...

i agree

Anonymous said...

you never hugged me ;-) and you hugged somebody else?

Sumod said...

I am not sure hugging always means that there is true affection. In fact, there should be something called as comfortable silence. So as long as there is true affection in your heart whether you hug, shake hands or just nod in agreement, it is all good. Furthermore, some people do not want too much physical contact. These things are perception my friend.

Victim Of Desire said...

i did not understand what you meant when you said 'tryin to follow my advice' when we were clicking the picture...now that it dawns on me...i should tell you that i don't need to follow your advice atleast about that context...and from what i have experienced and learnt from the past... definitely not...and like it or not but you will have to agree with that...