H E U T E

HEUTE

Allein bei dem See, wuensche ich nicht mehr....

Ohne Sorge diesen Tag erleben, viel lachen und lange atmen.

Alle Wunder der Welt sind doch merksam

aehnlich bin ich und ueberhaupt nicht einsam.

Die Gelbe, die Rote und auch die junge Gruene

erholen mich satt bevor ich sterbe

Einmal, nur dies Mal, darf ich frei sein?

Pech raus, Ruhe rein !!

What do you want to be - Tigger or Eeyore?

A big applause and the speaker remarked " Make me earn it! " and gestured everyone to have a seat. Unusual as this may seem, yet with the glint of hope and humor in every eye that carefully watched the speaker, one thing remained certain that every minute of this 'last lecture'; as many liked to call it, was going to be worthwhile.
The speaker of the evening was Professor Randy Pausch of Carnegie Mellon University, computer science department.
Professor Pausch has three young kids, a loving wife, other family and so many students working with him, learning from him.Professor Pausch, 46, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and expects to live just about 3 months.However what makes him a suvivor is his undying spirit. His courage to be realistic. His enthusiasm and his brilliance.
This lecture indeed the last of his life that he officially delivered at Carnegie Mellon. It was more than just an academic sermon. Titled as ' How to achieve your childhood dreams,' this lecture revisited Professor Pauschs' childhood dreams and things he did to make his dreams come true.Although it's impossible to write in this blog every single sentence that he uttered, I'd like to point out a few things that I could garner from his talk.

• Be realistic about your dreams and not just that but be specific. For instance if you dream of floating in zero gravitiy then don't dream of becoming an astronaut...Rather dream of floating in zero gravity. There are umpteen ways to achieve your dream when you are sure of what you really dream of.
• Be clear about your fundamentals.
• When you are screwing up and no one is saying anything, that means they gave up !!!!!
• Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And treasure it. Experience helps.
• When you are going after your dream and come across brick walls that stop you in your way and make life difficult, refrain from thinking that the walls are made for you. In fact the walls are to help keep out people who don't want the things (your dream) as badly as you want it.So go on, work harder and accomplish.
• At a time you are doing something pioneering in nature, you will get the arrows in the back and be prepared for them.
• Be prepared....'Luck' is where preparation meets opportunity.
• Learn to discover the 'head fake'. Something like reading between the lines. You won't learn anything unless you make the most of what you experience, whether it is through books, lectures or just life in general
• Decide if you want to be a Tigger or an Eeyore??? Tiggers are happy, enthusiastic, hardworking, innovative. Most importantly they bounce back even when they fall down or are pushed. Eeyores on the other hand are often scared of going that extra mile, trying new things, believe and trust only luck and crib, complain and are parched for pity / sympathy as and when they can get it.......

I most definitely can see a lot of similarities in his speech at Carnegie Mellon and Steve Jobs' speech at a Harvard Commencement (another amazingly inspiring speech).Here's a list of most important pieces of advice that was kind of common to both the speeches that you could possibly use to make your dreams come true!

Hardwork

persistance

creative vision

apologize when you are wrong

be earnest

never give up

have faith in oneself/ destiny/karma/ intuition

learn to discover the 'head fake'.

I think the things that stood out are the real markers of becoming a genius, becoming a pioneer or just simply being a good human that you were meant to be and living up to your potential.

Zurueck

I'm back to the world of blogging. Renewed , rejuvenated and replenished.
Was enjoying myself. First submerged in finishing up work and meeting research deadlines and then a long vacation.
6 weeks is apparently a very long time.
Synopsis of the vacation would be a boring thing for you to read and for me to write.
Least of all I can save you this pain.

Wondering if I should have a theme to what I write. I guess I will start writing a story. With few characters, an interesting plot that I have in mind. With dialogs. Real episodes like you would experience in everyday life. But then again continuity is important. So i wouldn't possibly persevere in that aspect. Too little time and too much to do.

We'll see how it goes.
For now I am contended to just get back into the swing of things and read a wonderful book called ' THE TIME TRAVELLER's WIFE'!

I Experienced

Ah a not so while ago I had decided to blog. To be consistent in my word productivity.
Sometimes I wonder why people who blog never do so consistently even if they want to. It is the constant urge to write more, to write better, to write richer.
Somehow this uphill climb gets way too steep to keep up with and like the law of diminishing marginal utility suggests, the content derived from writing a good blog goes on achieving the inverted U curve.

I experienced a beautiful music concert. Thrilled with the experience there are only a few things that I could rank higher than this happiness. Some long past gone and few yet to come.

I experienced peace and silence. Calmness surrounded by white walls. The Bahai Temple. It is interesting how beautiful the world could be if we had one roof to provide shelter to all. No differences, no divides . Just be one!

I experienced the joy of being amongst equals. Equals in love, in care, in friendship, in humor, in comfort and above all equals in attempting to make this world a wonderful place for each other to live in.

I experienced two days with strangers. Strangers who became aquaintances and then progressed on to be friends. Whether this friendship continues to be deeper and more meaningful is only a question time can attempt to answer but for now I am contended I experienced this rendenzvous with sweet strangers.

I experienced emptiness. A quiet vaccumm I felt when it was time to bid goodbye. I don't like to say bye but this time it was even harder, wierder and most importantly uncalled for. Knowing it has been impending on the agenda to say bye, I pretty much could expect it. Predict it or rather even to a certain extent could avoid it. But unfortunately I like to experience. To hurt my heart and then nurse its wounds because I feel this hurt is worth it. I am no judge of human spirit but I think had some others showed this spirit I would find it easier to say goodbye. But alas, gems are rare and that is why so valuable.

I experienced a change. A change in attitude. In life and somewhat even in my luck.
And I am absolutely happy about that!

Thank you if you were a part of these experiences. You most certainly have left beautiful memories.

Slumped

I am tired. Came home and the door shut with a bang (unintentionally). Threw my bag on the couch and the jacket on the chair and just slumped on the couch. 'I am tired', I said to myself. So tired of fighting and of wilfully facing every problem.
Nevertheless things don't end and thus must this human body and spirit keep life intact.
Here's to every breath I take!
Amen.

Spirals

A mobius strip is indeed an interesting thing. You know not what side is up and which one is not.As a kid I always enjoyed playing in the sun, dancing with the trees, hiding never to be found and hearing things not meant to be, but as an adult, I guess like most others who would agree with me, we get trapped. Trapped in the shoulds and should nots and the musts and the must haves.
Not a very happy proposition this caged life but somehow as adults we all enjoy it relish it or even rather devour it. What is it that binds us to this phenomenon. This rules fetish. This grid of " I want to do something but I cannot because."

But for the last few days me and a couple of others just overarched this grid. Knowing no boundaries to fun and frolic we decided to do just this one time what our heart led us to do.

It said, "smile , laugh, enjoy ,don't think."

It said "hear, listen, empathize, don't judge."

It said, "don't fret, just be!"

sometimes

Sometimes you got to look beyond the horizon,
you got to look into the deep reds and orange of the sky
sometimes you got to hear what the tiny bird says
or hear the leaves rustle as a gust of wind goes by

When you don't have time to do all this
or the will to philosophize,
Gimme a holler and i will thee oblige..
Sheer nonsense is my expertize and talking a favorite pasttime
i can regel about birds and bees and crop the world miseries at ease

So here's to you my dear reader, whoever you are, ....
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!!!!

This is original work, any duplication or unauthorized publication will be probably not be welcomed by the author. But do try. It's worth it!

Today's Carry Overs

I took the usual bus to campus and was expecting a scene on the bus. Quite evidently a man was trying to pursue a woman's attention. Perhaps a lover more likely that he was just a nobody trying to try his hand at making the woman agree to his pleas.
I was all geared up for combat incase the man tried to physically harrass the woman but my services were not needed. I was glad to be a part of this episode (No i am not a sadist!)
I was happy to see the police showing up in a matter of two minutes as the bus driver radioed them and the man being unsuccessful in his attempt to terrify the woman with his histrionics.

I had to run several errands so I was hurrying up in a jiffy.
It started pouring like crazy and I was stranded. Left with no other option except waiting for the thunder to die down and the drops to stop their merciless earth battery. On other occasions I am all for rain and storms. It is just amazing to feel the rain on bare skin and to smell the warm earth bathed in the slight spring fragrances.

Was finally able to get some stuff done that had long awaited attention. A big day lies ahead with my to do list running longer than the page itself I wonder how I will finish all I need to do. Skipped cake for a 25 years celebration of a bank employee, turned down a lunch invitation since I have so much work to do and of course gave up on my usual cup of coffee with a friend since I was tied in back to back meetings.

They would say we always have carry overs when the total is more than can fit in one unit. I wonder if my sacrifices will get carried over too and help me help myself.

Averaged Out

An Average Summer day by the average window pane,
an unsual Jack stares at an awfully bored Jane
Average dreams in her eyes , hails from an average town
Plain simple life when it's averaged down

Average time to go up and speak to her,
less than average to abuse her
Average is her refusal, confirming condone her tone
average is her effort, pushed aside by an above average painful groan

Average tears rolled down her eyes,
desperation, fear, insult and shame don't surprise
Followed a quest for rage, hopeless reprive
Averaged out to end her disguise

Average Jane didn't remain so average afterall,
donned the cloak of anger and ruled them all
Went out in the open and fought with bare hands
screaming thoughts were sharp wands

Average Jack didn't know how to deal,
the court averaged his opinion and he was set free
Average Jane cursed till her throat hurt
averaged her feelings and blamed herself,

tired of insuations, guilt and desire for justice
a sharp knife to end it all did suffice.


My request to all of you out there, don't let any other average Jack go scotfree, and to the average Jane be on your gaurd, be safe!

Now that's what i call reading a person!

Somehow felt the picture aptly describes my persona !!!!

Interested in this stuff....check out the website http://www.wishingu.com

Persistant Injustice

Name of Movie: Dombivili Fast.
Language: Marathi.

Expections : Supposedly wierd.

Reaction: Speechless and Guilty !!

It began with the usual hubabboo of watching a marathi movie. The interest being more surrounding the dinner that would go with the movie rather than the content of the movie itself, More due to the lack of serious and thought provoking marathi cinema that we have had the chance to witness recently.Within first five minutes we got engrossed in the movie and were glued to the screen till the last scene.

However today was an exception of all sorts. This movie is a beautiful potrayal of monotonous metropolitan Mumbai life, of the hustle -bustle of the city, Hapless condition of basic infrastrucure that is grappling to cope with the growing need of corrupt pillars of the political world and of course common man who bears the brunt of the not so commeners of that city.

A few give in and a lot many suffer. A few bend and break many others.If you cannot have something, there prevails an attitude, which doesn't let anyone else live in peace.

Getting whatever you wish for at whatever cost you need to pay for, is Greed.

Letting this greed survive and feed on uncalled for favors is Cowardness

Above all, diffusion of responsibility and going with the flow and as usual retorting"It's ok! it happens to everyone, Life is not fair." is like the person who is not sleeping but rather only feigning sleep. We can awaken someone who is asleep. But what about a person who is faking sleep! Pretence is hard to point out and more so harder to avoid !

Corruption is a social evil and the sooner we try to abolish it from our systems the better.It is like a cancer that rots the body and doesn't even let it know for a long time that it exists.

In the end Truth and principles did lose and died a silent death in the movie but I guess it sent out a very important message. If you ever understood what the movie meant then please try and make a difference in the world, in India, in your state, in your surrounding. Anything you do would help to save any others who might give in to the easy ways and take measures that would probably be required but through a very wrong route. So let's take responsibility before it's too late.

Hiatus

Taking a break often clears our mind and we are able to think afresh.
Some psychologists not so long ago had clearly defined the several stages of problem solving strategy. Incubation and Isolation were two that clearly have stuck in my mind.
In simple words, staying in close proximity of the problem and going away from the problem can actually shed light on (often overlooked) solutions.
I was taking a break from blogging recently because for some reason I didn't have any useful or creative stuff to put out there in the world. Was kind of wierd this stagnant thought stage. It was like my creativity was snubbed in the face and it's livelihood strangled by the growing pressure of quality writing that I wanted myself to do.
What i was aiming at was hibernation but prolonged hibernation suddenly started to seem like hiatus. Hiatus from what? From expression? From thinking? But most importantly from being aware and from being awake. Sometimes if I stretched it enough i could even say it was a hiatus from life.
Well so although I do not have much to say, what i wish to convey through these paragraphs of wisdom is what I think is our most common mistake. Although we feel we are not creative or we are not effective enough sometimes, i wonder if it is important to just keep the energies flowing. Some neutral energy won't hurt anyone right? It keeps the practice up and also doesn't let your brain rust. It kind of keeps the engines running. Otherwise in these sub zero temperatures of society, it is very easy to let them rust or freeze ............................

The Traffic Light

The traffic light stands still
the moonlight yet so dull
night spreads it's wings
the dust settles down
droplets of rain rustle on the window
cars screeching
brakes.

fingers tender drumming on the wheel
running one hand through silken tresses
caressing eyes on the rear view mirror
flooded bright lights

speed up
push the pedal
giving gas, engine thrusts power
buzzing by like the wind, wheezes away the wagen
along wet lanes, alone the stars shine far above

Alas, a color determined it all...........

a comment

I say: Ice melts in it's own water and that is it's destiny but it doesn't know it yet!

He says: Water is clearer than ice, atleast to the eye. water flows. water can be as cold as ice and yet way warmer. water does not break, it forks. ice preserves death, water breeds life. ice grows up to become water. but it doesn't know it. (s.a.)

thought it was interesting.......

Cruelty comes in white and blue.........

It's - 22 degrees celsius and dropping.................. It's inhumane, torturous and unfair.......
But eh....who cares?

A thought

Ice melts in it's own water and that is it's destiny but it doesn't know it yet!

Oh what a soot!

Walk into a coal mine. say nothing but dream soars,

Dish out all the diamonds , say they all are yours,

and then when the coal mine is all black and void

leave with a beaming face ....say oh what a waste

the darn coal mine grew boring after time,

no more diamonds to my mercy ,

little cherished but oh so fine.

It's all the coal mine's fault that it could bear no more.

Nothing more to give , an empty hollow

But the coal that burned and burned till it could burn no more ,

could give more warmth to the heart than the sparkle of the diamond galore' !

Checkmate

Ever wondered if there is someone up there in the heavens trying to frame and shape our destiny, our future according to his / her plan. I believe in being gender neutral in this aspect though I would rather characterize the Creator as a he. It makes it easier to believe when you see horrible things happening. Ruthless decisions being made about soemone’s life unlike the caring, loving image that ‘womanly’decisions are usually expected to paint.
The chess board is set. The pawns are in place. The king, the queen and the rookie. All in place. Waiting anxiously to play their part. None of them knows which one is going to win the game, which one is going to fall down, succumb to wishes of some hand that rules every move it makes and none of them have a clue why they are doing what they are and how it is affecting someone else after they themseleves are ousted or thrown out of the picture.
And yet each time, yes every single time that someone up there says checkmate we blame ourselves, we are shocked, surprised, angry or just simply helpless since we could not anticipate it.........Wonderfully amusing isn’t it?

Sealed lips

A not so while ago one of my friends and I were talking about TALKING and my friend had said to me, well I really don't like to talk on the phone with people. I would get irritated and wouldn't want to believe people like my friend and many others of that type who wouldn't want to communicate using Bell's invention.Or infact I would find it darn annonying and unbelievably haughty behavior when given this excuse that I do not like talking on the phone. Yes quite irrational as this is, it's true. Expectation that the world is just like you are, is a myth and the sooner it breaks the better would be your livelihood.

Recently though, I began to think whether we all are slowly but surely getting addicted to this useful but time consuming instrument called the phone.However soon the tides of change have brought in a new perspective to the act of communication. Well so my friend if you are reading this, I know now what pleasure therein lies when one resorts to a phone free quiet life.

Dialogues within one's brain , solitude and sealed lips that give you freedom from social norms. Freedom from fake ettiquettes and small talk. Freedom from masking and freedom from being lonely in a crowd. Freedom from being misunderstood, Freedom from being misquoted. Freedom from all things untrue and freedom from being laughed at and ridiculed. Freedom from being overestimated and freedom from being bound by anything unintelligible, least of all freedom from being blamed and freedom from being pitied.
I no longer feel the need to be connected. The need to express verbally. The need to talk......

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

----Linkin Park